it's totally annoying when . . .

. . . life gets in the way of paddling.

that is all, really.  i made it out to the river a couple times last week with my buddy Tim, but paddling this weekend hasn't been an option, and I'm thinking I've got to hit pause on the blogging for another week or so -

lots of weird stuff going on in my life right now.  mostly good things (i think) but all are surprisingly stressful.  this makes the idea of paddling -- my preferred form of meditation and stress relief -- all the more alluring.

but alas, i cannot right now.  so i will instead sit in my house and visualize stern squirts and cartwheels. until next week.

Lyme disease or Kayaker?

I often joke that if I go more than a few days without getting in my boat, I start to go a little crazy.  It turns out the joke's on me - because it's totally true. Here's what happened:

It all started with a bug bite.

I was bitten by the fattest, reddest mosquito known to man.  I know this because I was driving my car when it happened.  I felt some nonsense happening on my arm, and I looked down to see my mosquito finishing up her meal.  Then she flew onto my dashboard and slipped into a food coma, unable to move from where she landed for a good five minutes - plenty of time for me to snap a few photos with my iphone while sitting in traffic on the GW Parkway.

I contemplated what might be a good name for my new blood-buddy -- Roxanne comes to mind, not sure why -- and lyme disease was the furthest thing from my mind.  And for good reason:  mosquitos do not carry lyme.  And yet,  after the first two days of what would be my longest stretch without paddling since my back injury, I began to go crazy and soon slipped into a severe state of hypochondria, completely convinced I should undergo treatment for lyme disease.  

this isn't a real post.

this isn't a real post.  my next real post will be about waves: new beta courtesy of Scott Mann about how to use them; my successes riding the wave at Maryland chute this morning; my complete failure to ride the wave at O-Deck this evening.  but this post isn't really a post at all.  it's more like my inner monologue, or stuff i'd tell a friend about my paddling if i thought there was anyone who wouldn't be bored by it.  if you're bored already, perhaps just re-read my more interesting posts about boater chick or bootie beers and don't bother with the jump.  this won't get any more exciting.

Point & Shoot: my first time down the Upper Yough

So I finally ran the Upper Yough.  I guess it had been on my bucket-list in one sense or another, but I always figured I'd get around to running it, so I don't feel like crossing this one off is quite as sick as it will be to someday paddle the Upper Blackwater - but based on my performance yesterday, I'm thinking that might take awhile, so I may as well be stoked about yesterday's run for now.

It went well, actually.  I didn't think it would go badly, and I have to say that I thought the Cheoah was far scarier than the Upper Yough.  But for whatever reason, the UY definitely gave me more trouble.  Ah, bootie beers, how I have missed you.  Nothing like chugging PBR from a river shoe that hasn't been washed in a year and a half.  And we wonder why kayakers end up with parasites.

Michele Gasper and I performing the ritualistic bootie beer offering to the gods of the Upper Yough.
Michele did not swim on Monday, but she did subconsciously lead me into the same ledge hole that
she swam out of last month.  Since she had yet to pay her penance, we thought the joint ceremony
may be our only real chance to break the cycle.

FUNDaNEE 110-mi Paddle Update

Support Team #FUNDaNEE
From Left: Quentin Glorieux, Scotty Parsons,
Todd Henry (back), Ashley Nee (front), Eric Brooks.

12:22 p.m. Adam Van Grack swears the team paddled exactly 67 miles.  Nice work, Team #FUNDaNEE!

12:14 p.m. I just received more intelligence. I am told "Cobb Island is few miles down river from Swan Point. Both have strong pulls during low tide to feed their inlets & low tide remains til 1pm"

11:55 a.m. After a long, gut-wrenching silence from Team #FUNDaNEE, we finally received word via the twitters that the team was stranded by the low tide at Swan Point, wherever the heck that is.  A follow up tweet at 11:36 a.m. sadly announced that the team decided to end their paddle at Cobb Point.  Is this the same place, you ask?  I have no idea, and the follow up tweets tagged #StrandedOnADessertIsland were cryptic.  Note to those Lost on the island: watch out for the Others and if you find a room with a button, push it.   

Anyway, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's pretty damn impressed by the epic efforts of Team FUNDaNEE.  While I was hoping they'd make it the whole way, I don't think the billion* miles they paddled is anything to dismiss lightly.  *I don't know the exact distance (see above) but figure it must be close to a billion because they paddled for almost a full 24 hours straight.  People train for years for that kind of endurance workout, and the fact that Nee and her team were basically able to just pick up and do it is crazy!!  Big congrats guys, y'all are all so, so impressive and you have tons of proud fans today. 

Go get some rest!

***

10:18 a.m. Armed with amazing advice such as "eat Cicadas if you need a protein boost" [Note to Matt: that's among the more disgusting things I've ever heard], Team #FUNDaNEE took off in their kayaks at 12:33pm yesterday, just slightly ahead* of schedule.  *Yes, I know launch time was set at noon, but we're talking about kayakers, people.  Work with me.

Slalom Update: 2013 U.S. Team, Nee's 110-mi Paddle, Funding for Dana Mann

While I was busy taking on the South at Boater Chick Fest, another story was unfolding up North: the 2013 U.S. Slalom Team Trials at ASCI.  Our hometown men and women absolutely killed it: four Potomac Whitewater paddlers made the national team, including LAKS instructor Ashley Nee and Active Nature instructor Dana ("Danka") Mann who started her paddling career as a Slovak kayaker but more recently moved to the states to train at our beloved feeder canal.

Maryland paddler Ashley Nee, who was named to the 2013 U.S. National
Slalom Team earlier this week, plans to paddle 110 miles to the
Chesapeake this Monday to raise funds to support her training.
Support Ashley by visiting FUNDaNEE.

Big congrats to both Danka and Ashley for making the 2013 Women's K-1 Team, and to Potomac Whitewater paddlers Fabien Lefevre (K-1, C-1) and Casey Eichfield (C-1, C-2).  And just for kicks, congrats to McQ's cousin Devin McEwan (C-2), who can be considered an honorary local via family connections.

But there's more news on its way in the world of slalom.  This Monday, Ashley Nee will put-in to kayak over 100 miles to the Chesapeake bay:

“I’m not sure it’s training, but I’m going to do my firstlong distance paddle as a way to raise money to go to Europe,” Nee said. “Wehope it’s only 110 miles in hopefully 24 hours, it may take 30, we have no ideareally. Basically, I’m going to paddle from my house to the Chesapeake [Bay],hopefully. I’m going to try to get to Europe as far as I can in my boat andhopefully people will keep donating money to make it over and race.” (USACK)

Good luck, Ashley, don't forget to say hi to Wade when you get there!  To anyone who has not yet visited FUNDaNEE, now's the time to support one of our area's favorite slalom paddlers to make sure she has the funding she needs to rep Maryland and the U.S. in style.

Speaking of underfunded slalom paddlers, Danka just launched a similar appeal to fans to support her efforts on the World Cup Tour.  Visit SupportDanaMann to contribute!

BCF Day 3: the Ocoee

I woke up super sore on Sunday morning after paddling the Cheoah on Saturday.  My shoulders and back both felt pretty awful, but there was no way I'd have missed the Ocoee.

I had first heard of the Ocoee from Scotty Parsons, who had explained that he had broken my slalom boat the first weekend he owned it by getting it pinned on the Ocoee (at least, that's how I remember the story; it really could have been any river, I guess, but I think it was the Ocoee).

More recently, I learned of the Ocoee on the Twitters from BBB Paddling, who has been tweeting about Ocoee Fest and an amazing Homebrew competition that Matt and I plan to win (er, if we go; and also, I don't know how to brew beer, but I do know how to drink it, so that'll be my contribution to the whole "Matt and I" winning bit).

And then, when I got to BCF, the boater chicks told me the only two things I ever really needed to know about the Ocoee: (1) it is a playboating river and (2) it features a place called Hell Hole.  

Why, oh why is the Ocoee so far away from DC?  Best. River. Everrrr.

No really, I'm so in love.  Here's a video of some local guys surfing Hell Hole, only I swear it was bigger on Sunday because the river was a bit high over the weekend - I mean really, Hell Hole was HUGE! And so much fun.

BCF Day 2: the Cheoah (part II)

Bear Creek Falls.  This is not the line I took. 
Far too many chances to screw up my boof and eat shit.

Last September, I painstakingly edited what I thought would be an excellent Whitewater Grand Prix entry based on my experience paddling at Bloomington.  After watching my video, McQ explained to me that actually it wasn't a very good entry at all because it lacked horizon lines.  And she was right - the final few miles of the Cheoah would have made for a much better edit.

Sadly, I did not take my GoPro with me to run the Cheoah because I was worried that I'd lose it.  I blame this on PTSS from Mexico, actually, where every flip was answered by a quick wack to the head.  So, I didn't have my GoPro with me.  Fortunately, the BCF Cheoah Boater Cross was held on that last stretch of the Cheoah, so I was able to get some good shots of the racers running those rapids.  I'll post some of those, and we can all pretend I am as badass as those boater chicks.
 

Bear Creek Falls. This is basically the line I took - my line was just slightly more river left.